In retrospect, high school was such a bore. Why talk about it three years later then? Well my sister is graduating this year and its refreshing to see her have so much fun with her friends as her senior year ends. Lately, I've been reminiscing about my high school life and how people have changed so drastically. Some people changed for the better, others not so much. Let's be real though, I cant point out others without addressing my change.
In high school, as hard as it is to admit, I was a follower. I wanted to be cool. Not cool like the "cool people," but just cool enough to be accepted. I wasnt suffering through low self esteem or anything like that but I was always considering what other thought of me. I neglected to wear clothes, shoes, even makeup that would be a little different from my "style," in fear of causing too much attention for myself. I didnt wear a dress to school until senior year! I was always nice to people. I didnt, and still dont, like drama. I did find out though that my sarcasm sometimes gave people the wrong impression of me. Guess some people just didnt understand my humor... After graduation I was liberated. That sounds ridiculously cheesy but I was. It was a whole new part of my life. I had no expectations anymore because I was at a school full of people that didnt know me and I could start fresh. I didnt have to dress a certain way to impress my crushes and I didnt have to do anything to fit in with my friends. I became my own self. Of course I missed my friends, but being on my own was a good feeling. I started living my life for myself and started doing stuff I really loved. I dyed my hair red, bought clothes I loved and I was ready to be the person I wanted to be without being judged.
I also went through a time after high school when I didnt have any infatuation towards anyone. It was nice not liking someone. In high school, I had a few crushes and when I think about them now I feel so lame. I never had a boyfriend, but I guess its because I didnt try very hard to get one. But boy did I have crushes. I had two significant crushes and one of those really bothers me, even to this day. Life is so weird when it comes to this sort of stuff. I always knew the real answers in my brain but my feelings always kept me hopeful. It was cool though, going to college and not looking for love. I did have another crush in college that was never going to happen though. But I kept perspective on that situation. Once I stopped looking for love, it found me. And now all those past crushes seem hilarious in comparison to what I have now. Plus, some of the guys I used to like are total losers now and I'm glad I didnt end up with any of them.
As far as my friends go, most of us have drifted. Its nice to say that you keep all your high school friends, but in reality that doesnt happen. It would be cool if we could all get together every so often, but that stopped happening after a year. Now I only talk to a few of them. It's not a major deal, I have a lot going on in my life too. I just hope one day we will have a crazy cool reunion and everyone will just be friends again. Wishful thinking. Until then, I still have good friends I can talk to if I really need them.
High school wasnt tragic for me. I wasnt bullied or putdown or anything like that. But it was just mediocre. My friends really were super fun and I do miss them from time to time and they are what made my high school life bearable. Other than them, nothing was too memorable. Not even Prom or Grad Night. Its interesting though, seeing how people changed just by visiting their social networking profiles. Some people have gotten way trashy, others do stuff I would have never imagined they would do. But maybe those people were already like that and they just liberated after high school, sort of like I did. Everyone judges each other, but I try hard now not to. Everyone changes, especially after high school and high school definitely wasnt the "best years of my life" but sadly for some people it was. I started living my life once I graduated and I have never felt better about myself and my opinions. And people always say that its not good to look too much in your past, but I think its healthy to remember how things used to be, because then you can better yourself.
So yeah, high school was almost three years ago, but I like to look back and remember how I used to be and how I'll never be that way again.
